Anger in Children Step 2

“We have been reading to our child and he still throws temper tantrums”

Do not give up this is all part of a long term process.

Here is part 2 of the 3-step program.

Step 2: Talk

Whenever you feel a certain emotion coming on while your child is with you let him know about it. For instance, “Mommy is feeling mad right now because you were not helpful by throwing your toys all over the room.” He needs to learn how to distinguish between the different emotions so it is very important for your body language to match what you are saying. Children are like little sponges and take in everything you are telling them as well as everything they are seeing.

When your child is throwing toys around or is biting it is helpful to go over to your child without getting excited or with anger in your body language. Don’t yell at him from a distance or get loud. At this point he is feeling something and did not know how to express it with anything other than throwing his toys or biting. Your child needs to be taught how to control his emotions and to express them in a way that is more acceptable. Bend down on your knees right in front of your child so that you are on his level, it is less intimidating for him. Take him by the shoulder and make eye contact. Ask him if he threw the toys around or bit you because he was not happy with what you said or did. He might answer yes; you’ll be surprised at how children react. At this point your child will be calmer and you can have a conversation with him. This will be the ideal time to coach your child on how to control his anger.

Explain to him that when he feels angry he should tell you about it instead of throwing toys around because you don’t understand what he means or wants when he throws his toys or bites you. It might not work the first time but don't lose faith - consistency is key.

By constantly talking to your child about emotions you have won half the battle with your child and how to express their emotions.

Next week we will look at the final step of the 3-step program.